Idabrius
Hey there, OP folks. I've been working for the past few months on a sort of digest of my setting wiki, "the 10th Age":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/the-10th-age/wikis/main-page ; I've finally got a complete text version of the thing done. I know it needs art and formatting and such, but I am making the text-only pdf version available for two weeks for the purposes of garnering feedback.
If anyone is interested, you can get it "here, at the Frothing Mug.":http://frothingmug.blogspot.com/2012/05/calling-all-cars.html Many thanks!
Comments
If I were writing an introduction to the world for new players, I would write two things: a 1-2 page really brief introduction that only touches on the most important things (this is for everyone to read) and a no-more-than-20 page more in-depth introduction that fleshes out what was in the first document and adds other, less important but still useful, information (this is for anyone who wants to know more to read) -- you have a wiki, so it's not like your document needs to include everything! Working with page limits really makes you figure out what's important to say and how to say it in an interesting yet concise manner.
killervp
"A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
"Duskreign's First Ever COTM":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011
"OP's COTM April 2012":http://blog.obsidianportal.com/a-god-rebuilt-aprils-cotm/
Just trying to help out.
I'm not sure if it is even worthwhile to write a one or two page document, as I could simply explain that much information in a few seconds; likewise, any player worth their salt could go and absorb more than that on the 10th Age wiki in a few moments rather than read a bullet-pointed list of facts about the setting. I didn't mean for it to be a cheat-sheet, but rather a real guide to the setting in a general way.
Still, thank you for your feedback, and I will have to reconsider the viability of the project.
I guess I don't know what your goal is, then, Idabrius. If you've got a wiki, why do you need a full players' guide? I was assuming your goal was to give the players a shorter document so that they could get a brief idea of what the world is like (sufficient to build a character that fits in) and then pull them to the site to read more if they're interested.
My point about the unnecessary wordiness still stands, though. If this is a book, it _must_ be easy to read, and right now it's hard to get through all the prose to get at the ideas.
Edit: One thing to think about if you want to go with a narrator from the world -- I'm not getting a sense of personality and who this person is (aside from verbose). It might make it easier to read if you get a good handle on the personality of the NPC writing this and write from that perspective.
Wordiness might be a valid issue, though.
I do not intend any personal criticisms, I was merely trying to explain what my reaction, as a player, would be to being handed any significant documentation for a world. You can take it or leave it, but I find it helpful to ask other people what their take as a player would be for any major projects I'm working on as a DM, since I personally find I can lose track of what players want/need when I get excited about a project. If what you're looking for is feedback on the document as a standalone campaign setting with no campaign nor players assumed to be attached, then I apologize for misunderstanding your objective and will recalibrate my assumptions to provide more useful feedback.
I also agree that most new players are hesitant to read a short story, or short book, to get involved.
Just my 2 cents, and wanted to let you know that Savannah was not the only one confused.
killervp
"A God...Rebuilt":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/a-god-rebuilt
"Duskreign's First Ever COTM":http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaigns/wyrmshadow/wiki_pages/112011
"OP's COTM April 2012":http://blog.obsidianportal.com/a-god-rebuilt-aprils-cotm/
Just trying to help out.